Anonymous
by ttchaku
Summary: In a world controlled by Slade, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.
1. In the Beginning

**Anonymous**

**In the Beginning**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Teen Titans…check back in a couple of years.

**A/N:** This is my second Teen Titan fic. The first chapter might be a little confusing to some, but bear with me and it'll all be explained as it goes along. If there are any questions, comments, or criticisms; please Review!

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world, swallows him up as well.

**T**he colors of the spectrum: red, blue, green, yellow, violet, and orange. The colors of the rainbow; a child's fairytale…imagine how surprised he'd been when he had found out that a rainbow was an arc of colored light in the sky caused by refraction of the sun's rays by rain. It was an illusion, rather like life.

Something shattered then.

It was a lot like growing up; lots of things shattered then too. He thought his heart was one of them…

_April 23, 1998_

_Two bank robberies and three rapists…it was a normal occurrence. The small timers often slipped through the cracks, but there was one breakout from the city prison. _

_One breakout… _

_That wasn't normal._

_Sometimes I wonder if life will just keep fast forwarding without me; if I'll spend the rest of my life staring at my horrific past and yearning for a better future while I can't even reach the less than perfect present. I feel like I'm transfixed in one place in time, unmovable. I keep envisioning that week, that week with him. The week of hell. _

_I went against everything I believed in that week and even though every waking day, I vehemently swear that I'll never again fall for his tricks and I'll never succumb to his devious maneuvers, my dreams tell a different story. And sometimes…sometimes in back of my mind I feel as though if I were given the same choice, the choice of whether to save my friends or not, I'd take it. I'd do almost anything to protect my friends, even hurting them myself. That scares me, to know that people can have that much control over me with the push of a single button._

_Not that it was simple at all. Nothing with him is simple, nothing at all. Everything involves some elaborate set-up in which, no matter how hard you try, you always fail to solve. I was raised by the "Greatest Detective" since Sherlock Holmes and I've always been two steps behind him…always._

_I'm not quite sure if this reflects badly on his teaching skills or my learning skills…I'm guessing the latter._

_One breakout…I know I keep harping on about it; I guess it's become a kind of mantra. Maybe I think that repeating the words will keep the craziness at bay. I can hear them now, shuffling and whispering at my door, speculating what I'm doing in my darkened fortress. I wonder what they think will happen. Do they assume that I'll break down and cry? Scream? God only knows I have a right to._

_We were so close; it took so long…but-_

_Let bygones be bygones, right? _

_No. It doesn't work that way; not with him, never with him. He'll come after me and everyone else because of what happened last time we tried to take him down. We succeeded of course, I wouldn't be writing this if the "heroes" had triumphed that fateful day…_

_Or would I? _

_Would the world be better? Could a world with democracy, free speech and equal rights ever survive…ever thrive? Democracy, an archaic word…it is only seen in text books nowadays and it is belittled and scoffed at by many, but in other textbooks, forbidden ones, democracy is embellished as the true path to the future. _

_Interesting, how the two views conflict, isn't it?_

_Of course, I'm just being stupid, stupid enough to die if anyone found this. Our world order is fine. It creates a perfect utopia…for a select few. I'm one of the lucky ones, to be in Master's favor; he seems to like me a lot and he was especially pleased when we took out his final nuisance, the one who broke out of the highest security prison today. The one who has me so aggravated. If wacko's like him ran around during the age of democracy, then I'm glad for Master Slade and his Order._

_On the other hand, if there was Democracy, then I wouldn't be writing this in the pitch darkness of night, with my friends sitting outside wondering what I'm doing…now that's something to think about. _

_This is stupid. It's stupid to sit here debating things that'll never change. It's stupid to hope for better things when you should be content with what you have…it's just…stupid. _

_Sometimes, in my head, the differences between reality and fantasy merge like the illusion of the rainbow and I'm left with a blurring picture, scrambling to grasp something, a wisp of red hair, but ultimately failing, because unlike the adults tell you, good does not always prevail. Let me tell you for further reference, evil wins just as often; it wins every time a person is murdered, every time something is stolen, even if it's as small as a stick of gum; it wins with increasing alacrity and all the good people in the world let it. _

_That's another kind of evil. _

_Signing off,_

_Robin_

"Robin."

A small boy with dark hair and blindingly blue eyes turned slowly to face the voice that called out to him from the entrance of his room.

"Robin, come here." The silky voice murmured, seemingly savoring the control he had over the boy.

The said boy, Robin, walked carefully towards Slade, half fearing that Slade would see the gel pad filled with writing and punish him and half determined not to let Slade feel that fear. As he got closer, he dropped and crawled the last couple of feet on his hands and knees. He ended up kneeling at Slade's feet. Slade never made anyone else do that, but then again, he was always different with Robin.

Always different.

Slade reached down and patted Robin's rebellious hair gently, mimicking kindness. Robin gritted his teeth and then ground them together as Slade laughed and whispered, "Good boy."

Then suddenly, the grip in Robin's hair turned pitiless and with a stifled yelp, Robin was dragged to his toes up by his black locks and his head was cruelly twisted to the side. Robin floundered for something to grasp seeing as he was barely touching the ground and it felt as though the hair was being pulled out of his scalp. Unfortunately, in his momentary panic, he accidentally touched Slade.

Slade immediately backhanded him across the face and Robin bit his inner cheek to keep from grunting. Slade dragged Robin's face close to his own mask and said pleasantly, "I wouldn't do that again."

Then letting him go, Slade continued as if nothing had transpired between the two only moments before, "Cyborg, Raven and Beastboy gave their reports today, but I noticed that one was missing. Yours. Was there a problem today, Robin?"

Slade stared at Robin, waiting.

Robin looked back at Slade, blinking rapidly, if Slade was going to attack him, the last thing he wanted was dry eyes that would impair his vision and-

"Robin…" Now the tone carried a warning tone and Robin remembered that even if Slade liked being pushed, by him at least; push him too far and…well the consequences weren't pretty. Robin couldn't count the times he was grateful for having a healing witch on his team.

"I…there was a breakout today and-"

"You were wondering if it was going to be your case, hmm?"

Robin nodded numbly.

"Well, after last time"-Robin waited with trepidation, last time he had asked for something, he hadn't been able to get up for a day-"I think that you need to take this case."

Robin blinked, showing more expression than he usually showed in the entire day.

"But Robin, this time, it'll be permanent. You'll kill him, understood. If you fail or something like last time happens…well, then maybe your teammates are too much of a liability to you and we'll have to do what we discussed last time. Remember?"

Robin hardened his face and nodded resolutely. He remembered what they discussed last time, who could forget? And he'd do it, he'd kill him, if it came down to it; he'd destroy him. Robin knew he was being manipulated again, just in a different way, but he really didn't care, not when Slade put it so casually.

"Don't look so distraught Robin. I'll give you three tries and really, Batman isn't that hard of an opponent."

Slade walked out of the room and turning to sit at his desk, Robin collapsed, throwing his throbbing head into the welcoming warmth of his shaking arms.

To Be Continued…


	2. Starting Out

**Anonymous**

**Starting Out**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Teen Titans…check back in a couple of years.

**A/N: **Comments, questions, criticisms, please Review and as always I appreciate everyone who has managed to take time to review, thanks.

**Summary**: In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**E**veryone cries.

If someone says that they don't then they're lying. Tears are apart of makes us human. I cried when I was taken from my home. I stopped soon afterwards. I stopped as if some part of my humanness was stolen.

Maybe…it was.

_ April 24, 1998_

_I don't remember my birth…well no one does so I guess I should clarify. I don't remember my childhood. My parents are faded portraits exposed to too much light and my home is a lost cause, not worth devoting time and energy to. But, still, if I remembered where I lived then I wouldn't still be here. I've have run home as fast as I could. Even now after all these years, I still wish I could sometimes… _

_Most children that are part of Slade's army were chosen at birth; they are the best of the litter. The ones with helpful mutations or the healthy, strong ones were taken. It's like Hitler all over again, only this time the bad guys won. _

_I was different. I always am…_

_I was a weak child, even I can tell that from my small stature and the way that Cyborg and even Raven and Beastboy absolutely tower over me. So I wasn't taken at birth. I was allowed to live with my parents until the age of five. Five wonderful, perfect years spent in harmony with the two people I loved the most. _

_Screw Slade's idea of Utopia, I've already seen it._

_Of course, he had to ruin it. He ruins everything. In an unprecedented move, and I'm quoting this from the history books, he burst into my home, snatched me away from paradise and dropped me into the room with a ton of other kids._

_These kids were different. There were already conditioned, already perfect, I wasn't. Needless to say, the kids weren't impressed with my imperfectness. It was my first rough night, my first heartfelt sob and my first lesson. _

_I still don't know who the true monsters are._

_Signing off,_

_Robin_

"Raven are you ready yet? I've got to go get Beastboy and Cyborg. No doubt those two are straggling over a last video game."

"Almost Robin. Just let me finish gathering my supplies," answered the raven-haired witch, "Beastboy and Cyborg are in the virtual reality room. Cyborg some how figured out how to turn it into some sort of huge video game and the two have been playing it ever since."

"Right. Thanks Rae." Robin nodded and smiled at her, noticing the small blush that graced her pale cheeks.

Grinning a little too widely, Robin picked up his utility belt and said, "Be ready at ten. We'll leave immediately and plan our attack in a safe house. We…can't fail this time"

Raven nodded seriously. She knew all too well the consequences of what would happen if they failed again. She had been there when they had found Robin and had seen Slade's method o dealing with him; oh, yes, she definitely didn't want to fail with time.

Robin turned and started to leave the room in measured steps. As he left, raven heard a soft voice, barely discernable, "I can't wait to leave."

He never saw the confused eyes that followed him down the corridor.

Robin traveled down the hall until he reached an unmarked door. He paused, thinking of all the other times he had stood in front of this door, preparing himself for some challenge or the other. Slade often used the virtual reality room to push his followers to their limits, or to make them face their biggest fears. Usually people dreaded being sent in there, where the mistakes and the consequences were all too real.

Funny, how it had been transformed into something so trivial as a game station.

Shaking his head at the indistinguishable noises filtering through the door, he twisted the handle and entering the door, letting the door swing open on its hinges. He squinted at the change in lighting; Slade's hallways were always dimly lit, but the contrast in this room was astonishing.

Two figures sat in front of a huge, slightly flickering screen. Both were scrunched over their separate controllers, joking throwing barbs back and forth. Robin rolled his eyes; it was nice to know that no matter what problems arose, some things never changed. Beastboy and Cyborg would, through thick and thin, always play video games.

"Beastboy, Cyborg. It's time to go."

The two aforementioned boys turned at the voice. Immediately the green one's ears perked up and he ran towards Robin happily.

"Robin…dude. You're back. I thought you and Slade would never get back from your trip. Jeez what are you to that guy, his personal retainer?"

Robin forced out a laugh and barely stifled a wince when Cyborg clamped his metallic hand on a fading bruise in greeting, "I just got back yesterday night. But, listen; we've got a new problem. Batman broke out of jail again and Slade gave us the job. This time, no mistakes."

Beastboy stifled a gasp, "No…not that guy. Dude, he's…creepy!"

Robin smiled at Beastboy's choice of words and ruffled his hair, "This time we'll know what we're up against. As soon as you're ready we'll get going. Raven's waiting for us."

"Raven!" Beastboy said hopefully, a smile lighting up his face.

Cyborg sounded a bit more wary, "Why Raven? We operate in three man cells, in fact, why me and Beastboy? Slade likes to change the rotations often doesn't he? You know, to keep people from making friends." The unsaid, _like we have,_ was left hanging in the air.

Robin floundered for a moment and then recovered his composure, "You two and Raven were on the team that was supposed to recover me after Batman…you know, and I suppose that Slade thinks that since we brought him in the first time, then it won't be a big deal to bring him in again."

"Its…you're going to have to be careful Robin."

"Yeah, man, who knows what that wacko's got planned now."

"Hopefully," Robin interjected, "It'll have nothing to do with me. Come on, Raven will be wondering where we are if we spend too much time here."

Cyborg's smiled, his face grim, "Don't worry Robin. No mistakes."

To Be Continued…


	3. First Chance

**Anonymous**

**First Chance**

**Disclaimer: **Not yet and probably not ever.

**A/N:** Questions, Comments, or Criticisms? Please Review!

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**S**lade used to utilize robots to do his dirty work. Now, Slade is a lot stronger and has his willing little _minions_ to help him and he uses robot sparingly. Obviously humans have more winning aspects. They can think on their feet and improvise when the time calls for it. Slade doesn't care that humans are also more fragile and as the rate of success goes up so do the fatalities.

I found an old robot once, it was ready to be annihilated, probably because it was a later model or had some other defect. I watched, from my hidden corner, the robot walk calmly to its execution point and stand unmoving until it was obliterated by a blast of a laser.

I wondered later if I'd stand as still when it was my turn to go.

_April 25, 1998_

_If you've ever seen Slade's Fortress, you'd be amazed. It's huge, rising past the clouds, a small blemish in a larger one that's the world. Inside, it's a maze of hallways, rooms and dormitories. Every single room has a specific purpose; Slade doesn't believe in wasting space. Some rooms are used for meetings, others for training, and still more have miscellaneous purposes like the room I'm sitting in right now that I've claimed as mine. It takes a long time and knowledge of these corridors to find empty storage rooms like this one. It's easy to get lost and believe me when I say that no one is going to come looking for you. _

_One day, a long time ago, when I was wandering around after basic training, I ran into a bunch of older recruits. I can recall turning my face upwards to look into their eyes and the light snickering I heard from the smallest one-a green furred creature. One of them, a dark haired witch was carrying a light and shining it into my eyes and the other a half-human was staring at me bemusedly with his mechanical eye. I could tell that they were wondering how a shrimp like me had gotten into Slade's warren. _

_Instead of answering their unspoken question, I made to push past them, but instead I was jerked back by an unforgiving hand on my shoulder. I stifled my cry and looked past the hand, traveling along the arm, until I finally saw to whom it was connected to. _

_It was my mentor, Slade. _

_I stopped and bowed like everyone else was already doing. Keeping my head respectably down, I politely inquired what my master wanted. I was such a disgustingly obedient child._

_He murmured something about needing the light that I had forgotten back in the room I had been training in. I stared at the unlit torch in his hand for a while. I truly didn't want it back; it stank of Slade, so I quickly refused, proclaiming that I could find my way back to my dormitory without a light. The look Slade gave me could have frozen steel, but he roughly let me go to stumble my way back to my dormitory. _

_Well, maybe I did have a spark of defiance back then… _

_I only had gotten halfway down the hall before the older three students caught up with me, lighting my path. I don't think I'll ever forget what one of them said that day and I write it in here to always remind myself and any others who may chance upon it after I die. _

"_Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to." _

_Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to…_

_Remember how I said it was dark in Slade's lair? Well…I've learned since then that sometimes all you need, is a torch, a small torch that'll light up the darkness._

_Signing off,_

_Robin _

Robin led his team away from Slade's fortress without looking back. Behind him was a brilliant offset of the radiant red-yellow of the sunset and the looming backdrop of Slade's castle. Pollution, he knew, it wasn't beautiful, just pollution.

The road to the nearest safe house was waylaid with switchbacks and other treacherous traps. Robin and Cyborg jumped down a particularly steep cliff while Beastboy changed forms to avoid it. Raven snorted at all three of them and floated gracefully downwards.

"Which safe house are we going to Robin?" Beastboy asked, changing back to his human form.

"The one hidden around here, in the mountains." He answered, keeping one eye open for the hideout.

"Cool." Beastboy said, changing into a hawk and flying above them all.

"Robin…" Raven said, hesitantly.

"Yes, Raven?" Robin muttered, distractedly.

"When we find Batman…we're going to kill him aren't we?"

"Raven, Batman is psychotic madman; remember when he kidnapped Robin and forced him to help him take down Slade? He's a threat to the system." Cyborg said, answering the question as robotically as his metal parts.

"But he's-"

"It doesn't matter if Batman's views are right or wrong. Slade seems to have a personal vendetta against him and I can't say that I'm much better. Slade's orders are to take him down and we will." Robin said, interrupting Raven, "Lets not question Slade's orders right now. Clear?"

"Crystal." Both murmured, dutifully.

"Good, now where did Beastboy-"

With a thump, the crumpled form of Beastboy landed at his feet and quickly, Robin lowered into a fighting position and just barely stopped the punch aimed at his face. Robin jumped backwards and flipped up onto the outcrop of stone above him. He got one foot balancing precariously on it before something exploded below him and he tumbled downwards in a maelstrom of rock and dirt.

_What_…Robin's eyes widened, "Cyborg, Raven, spread out and keep to the air; the ground's booby-trapped."

Robin caught himself, and sticking out his pole, he vaulted upwards, landing elegantly on flat land, wincing as he did so, expecting to hear another explosion. Instead he was slammed backwards by a punch to the gut that made him spit out blood.

"Very smart; then again, I've always known that." A voice above him growled.

"Ah…ah…" Robin fell backwards hard on his left hand and heard a soft beeping sound underneath him.

Gasping, he shot upward and leapt to the side, rolling on the ground crudely. A few seconds later, the spot on which he had laid, blew up in a shower of dirt that propelled Robin even farther back…straight into the hard arms of an armored body.

The figure that had easily caught him dropped him to the ground. He scrambled to his feet and rushed back towards the caped man, but was stopped with one arm by the same person that had caught him: Slade.

"Children these days…they always seem to be in the way. Don't you think?" Slade said cruelly, pushing Robin to the ground.

"I wouldn't know." Batman's voice, how Robin despised that voice, was steady.

"Really?" Slade stepped hard on Robin's clenched hand, causing him to yelp and release his bo-stick involuntarily.

Slade picked it up in up in one fluid motion and placed his foot on Robin's slender neck with another, "Are you sure, you did take care of Robin for me for a week; surely he acted like as much of a petulant brat there as he does here…or did you enjoy having someone to lord over and control. It's quite a power trip, isn't it?"

Ah yes, Robin knew he hated the sound of someone else's voice more.

Batman growled and charged forward.

"Well, it seems as if someone isn't as noble as he pretends." Slade pressed down on Robin's neck and an audible, distinct crack was heard.

Batman stopped suddenly, jerking to forced halt.

"One more step and I'll kill him; what'll it be like, knowing that if you attack me, you could win, but you could also sacrifice a young life. One who could still be saved."

Robin gasped through the constructing object that was crushing his larynx. His hand scrabbled like a flailing wild animal in the soil, searching for something to free himself with. That was what Slade had reduced him to; a sniveling worthless animal…no more than the dirt on which he lay. He didn't want to die; he couldn't just lie still and wait for Slade to press down and down and slowly let his life seep out of him like sand through a sieve. Batman wouldn't just stand there to save him, not after what Robin had done to him. He would have to save himself. Finally, his thrashing hand latched onto something smooth and hard: Slade's ankle.

"Batman…Batman, you really are too kind, what you do-" Slade paused his diatribe, "Let go of me Robin; what are you trying?"

Robin gave no response other than his difficult labored breathing. He refused to move his hand. He didn't want to die…

"Let go of me Robin." Slade commanded again, this time pressing down harder on Robin's abused neck.

Robin stared up at him, gasping, panting, and wheezing, writhing like a small insect caught in a trap. He really didn't want to die.

"Now!" Slade whispered deathly still, accenting the command with a vicious twist of his foot.

Slowly, laboriously, Robin dropped his hand from Slade's ankle resting it only inches away. He went still and quiet, completely subdued. He also, didn't want to upset Slade.

"Good boy-OMPH…"

Robin, moving faster than a snake, again gripped Slade's ankle and this time, using the last dredges of his power, he yanked as hard as he could. Slade went flying over a crest of a hill and Robin scrambled away sucking in deep breaths of precious, beautiful wholesome air. Robin breathed deeply almost intoxicating himself.

In the end, Robin supposed, the will to live, overcame to will to obey…Robin felt like crying but didn't…couldn't.

A large hand was placed on his back comfortingly and Robin leaned into it gratefully, "It's sad," the owner of the hand said, "to see children who've never felt the warmth of a mother's touch."

Robin jerked away from him, the talker, Batman, "Get away from me!" he rasped.

Batman snarled under his breath and turned his back on the small boy.

"Wait…" Robin called suddenly, more cognizant, "Why…didn't you attack?"

Batman turned and sighed, "Because I remember, and so do others, a time before Slade's rule and it was so much better than this farce, this pretend world that Slade forces us to live in. I don't want anyone to be scared or oppressed; everyone has a right to be happy and safe…even you, a child in Slade's army. I saved lives before Slade came to power because it was right and I'll end Slade's rule for the same reason."

"I…don't understand." Confessed Robin.

"I didn't think you would…your name's Robin right? It's a nice name, a symbol of happiness, joy and freedom. Slade's contaminated it, you and him; you've twisted that beautiful word into something sick and horrid, an abomination."-Batman turned his back-"Just so you know, if Slade's never told you during his lessons, it's never too late…for anything."

Robin buried his head in his arms and laughed weakly, "Do you realize that you just said more to me right here than you said in that entire week we spent together?"

A rustle of cloth on stone, "Well this is the first time I've seen you act like anything other than a worthless clone."

When Robin finally looked up, Batman was gone and Slade stood in front of him.

"Stand up." He barked vehemently.

Robin, tiredly, pulled himself too his feet. Swaying slightly he stood in front of Slade, barely coming up to Slade's shoulders.

"Is…is there a problem, sir?"

Slade stared at him and then knocked him to the ground, "What, Robin, is my name?"

"Slade…Master Slade." Robin hissed in pain.

"If you ever do anything"-Slade kicked him in the ribs-"like that again…remember it isn't just your life at stake."

Slade stepped back and at an angle at which Robin could see his entire body, he held up three fingers. Then slowly, he put down one finger and left the other two standing. Robin's fists tightened and his resolve strengthened. He was going to beat him…who as of yet, he didn't know.

The minute Slade was out of sight, Robin rolled onto his back and let out a spasming cough. He wiped his hand and felt the wet blood on it. Disgustedly, he pulled off the glove with his teeth and threw it away.

It landed at Batman's feet.

Robin blinked jadedly; the surprises just kept on coming today. Robin wondered which of the angry Slade-gods he had annoyed this time.

"Do…you want to come with me…this time willingly?" Batman stuck out his hand

He looked at the hand in front of him. A new life? …Against Slade for Batman was surely against Slade. Robin thought back to his parents and their perfect house in the mountains. He thought about his friends who weren't supposed to be his friends but he couldn't fight destiny, not when it regarded them. He thought about the countless hours of pain, anger and fear…what would it be like to leave that?

"No," he whispered quietly, "this…this doesn't change anything."

As Batman disappeared yet again, Robin realized that this was his life now; he was tainted and ruined for the light. Now there was only the darkness…only the darkness to live for; only the darkness to pray to…he guessed…he hoped…because he wasn't sure what he would do if it wasn't.

Two more chances.

To Be Continued…


	4. Plans

**Anonymous**

**Plans**

**Disclaimer: **Not yet and probably not ever.

**A/N:** Questions, Comments, or Criticisms? Please Review!

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**M**y name is Robin

Aname is an important thing, not because it defines you or labels you, but because it can give you power over someone to the highest degree. Parents have that power at your birth. They name you; do you ever wonder what would have happened if your name wasn't actually your name. Would your life be different; can you even imagine having a different name? Could something so small be so important?

My name is Robin, only Robin. I have no last name, not even really a first name, because well…what sort of name is Robin? It's the name of a bird…a nothing, who cares about a bird?

My real name wasn't Robin, I can remember being called something else, what it was, I don't recall. If I ever find out though, it'd be one less thing Slade would have of me. And taking that back from a megalomaniac who controls everything and everyone…well…now that's something.

_April 26, 1998 _

_It's easy to kill._

_Soon after I met Cyborg, Raven and Beastboy, Slade led me into his office to have a… talk. I'm not sure what the talk was about, but at the end of it, I had a gun in one hand and a piece of paper with an address in another. _

_I was nine._

_It's easy to kill, terrifyingly easy to pull the trigger and see the blood spill. It's as if you're seeing it all from a distance and that you're really, really not there. There's only one moment in which you realize what you're doing. You think, oh my God, what am I doing, I'm about to kill someone! Then the moment passes and trigger was been killed. _

_BAM!_

_The body will drop and that's it. It's actually quite anticlimactic. The blood covers the ground and you're just…numb…just there. It seems fake, surreal, like any moment the dead body will jump up and go on with life like usual._

_He doesn't of course. _

_I didn't throw up the second time I did it; instead I pictured Slade's face, taunting and laughing at me. I blew the guy away effortlessly, hating Slade with every recoil from the gun. I think that that's when I began hating Slade, hating what he'd done to me. I probably should've hated myself more; I let him do that to him, I let him manipulate me…just like I let Batman manipulate me. There really is no difference between the two. Both want things and neither care who they step on along the way._

_And they both say I'm like them…_

_Am I a bad person? Yes…am I sorry? No._

_Sighing off, _

_Robin_

Robin pulled himself off the ground a couple hours later. He walked forward, around the crest of a hill and saw the crumpled form of Beastboy lying in a heap in front of him. Robin sighed and leaning down, he pulled Beastboy up and slung him over his shoulder. Then sagging under Beastboy's weight and limping slightly, Robin continued on his way.

Robin grunted as he climbed up another hill. He was heading for the safe house; if Raven and Cyborg weren't there then he'd go back and search of them, but at the moment, Beastboy needed medical attention. Robin wasn't sure how badly he was hurt, but the pasty green look and the trickle of blood from his head didn't hold well.

Looking to the right, he finally saw what he had been looking for, a small, almost unnoticeable S on a stone. Sighing in relief, Robin staggered forward and fumbling in his utility belt, he took out a similarly shaped metal S and pressed it against the stone. A faint whooshing sound was heard and a wall of rock came up slowly.

Robin threw himself and Beastboy inside before the wall could even come up fully. Ducking his head, he entered the cool metal facility thankfully. Stumbling through the kitchen, training room and planning room, he finally halted at the medical facility. He heaved Beastboy onto a bed and hooking him up to a few wires and inserting an IV into his arm, he attached a wristwatch that would tell him Beastboy's condition to his wrist. Then he left the room sparing the small figure on the bed only a glance.

He ran back outside into the burning sun and looking downwards, he started backtracking from where the fight had begun. He had no idea how far Raven and Cyborg might have gotten, but if they were scared, they could have traveled miles before regaining their senses. Robin was counting on Raven infallible steadfastness to stop Cyborg before he got too far ahead of himself.

Sure enough, after a couple of false starts and some hard trekking, Robin heard voices in the distance.

"We should go back and find the safe house; Robin will be waiting for us there."

"What if they're still fighting? Robin doesn't want us to be caught, Raven."

"Well then, what should we do?"

"You could just stand here arguing," Robin said, walking into the clearing of stone, "but I'd prefer if you follow me back to the hideout so we can take care of Beastboy."

"Dude." Cyborg bounced forward and slapped Robin on the back, "You beat him?"

"Of course he did, Cyborg. He wouldn't be here if he didn't." Raven's tone sounded as warm as it got, which was still as frigid as an ice cube.

"Actually, he got away and Slade counted it as our first chance. I…think he's a bit angry at us…" Robin rolled his eyes at the thought of being on the bad side of the manic.

"Well then…" Raven thought for a minute, "We'll just have to do better tomorrow on our next try."

Robin smiled at her, "Raven, can you teleport us all to the safe house; I'll save a lot of time and effort."

"Sure." Raven closed her eyes and let blackness bleed around her.

A minute later, Robin felt a peculiar feeling of darkness…evilness enveloping him and tugging at his soul. He let out a short gasp and then when he opened his eyes, he was back at the hideaway and Cyborg was looking down at him concernedly.

"Man, Robin, are you okay?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine." Robin blinked and shook his head, "Where's Raven?"

"She went ahead to check on Beastboy; you blacked out on us for a couple of minutes." Cyborg said worriedly.

"Sorry," he said apologetically, "I'm just tired from the fight."

"Well you better go rest; you don't want to be weak for the fight that's coming up." Cyborg laughed, "Come on, I'll get you to a room."

"But what about-"

"Don't worry about Beastboy. Raven and I will watch over him for you. Just get some rest." Cyborg propelled Robin towards a generic empty room and pushing him inside, closed the door.

Robin watched as the door slid shut and looked around the bare room. There was a four-poster bed with a wooden desk to the right with an old-fashioned lamp. Rubbing his head resignedly, Robin flopped ungainly on the soft bed and buried his head in the scented pillow. He breathed deeply and then picked up the pillow and threw it to the side angrily.

Damn him, it smelled of Slade.

Somehow, someway, he always seemed to be around. Someway…somehow. It sickened Robin that not only did Slade try indoctrinating children, but he succeeded too. Robin turned and blew his hair out of eyes sadly. Life just wasn't fair…

Robin closed his eyes and threw his arms out to the sides. Life would never be fair; if it was, then there wouldn't be a Slade.

* * *

Three hours later, Robin blinked his eyes open and rolled off the bed, rubbing his eyes. Yawning, he shuffled over to the room and opened the door quietly. He crept down the carpeted hallway and reaching the medical room, he threw open the door, surprising a reclining Cyborg, Raven and Beastboy.

"Beastboy, you feel better?" He asked roughly.

"Umm…yeah, Robin, I feel much better, though I could do for some tofu." Beastboy grinned, rubbing the back of his head, sheepishly.

"Good, all of you follow me." Robin said brusquely.

Cyborg, Beastboy and Raven shrugged to themselves and timidly followed Robin to the planning room and took pre-assigned seat around a metal table. Robin walked over to the corner and pulled out a portable whitewash board and took up a marker. On top of the board he wrote the word: Objective and then looked at the three expectantly.

"Our objective…" Beastboy bit his lip, "is to kill Batman."

"Good." Said Robin, writing that on the board, "When you have a hard opponent, it's often easier to write and plan things out so you can actually see them. It's easier to tie things on when you can visually see them."

"Cool," Beastboy bounced up and down in his seat, "did Master Slade teach you this?"

"No," Robin's smile felt grated, even to him, "actually he taught me to do this in my head; it's supposed to be the sign of a genius if you can plan and plot in your head while envisaging every type of mishap and change. So far, I know only two people who can do it properly: Slade and Batman. I'm…not quite up to par yet."

Beastboy looked at him, then, "Don't count yourself short Man; you're pretty amazing. You did get yourself out of Batman's trap without killing all of us."

"Yeah…" Robin let the words hang, "Now, let's list his strengths."

"Smart." Raven called from her corner.

"Experience; he's a lot older." Cyborg said seriously.

"Scary."

Robin wrote half the word down, before staring at what he wrote and erasing it. Beastboy cringed, expecting a reprimand, but Robin just wrote: Is Intimidating.

"Anything else?" he asked, tapping his marker against the board.

"Umm…"

Robin smiled and wrote, "He's strong, and he has nothing to lose, that makes him very dangerous…now what about weaknesses?"

All three stared at him, finally Cyborg piped up with, "He's not willing to kill."

"He hates Slade; maybe that'll make him angry and he'll make a mistake?" Beastboy said hesitantly.

Robin smiled at him and said, "Good point."

"He seems unstable…after all what kind of person would willingly do all this." Raven said musingly.

"I don't know," Robin muttered, "I think he's in full possession of his mental capabilities. He sounds and acts sane…in his own way."

"I don't know Robin," Raven monotoned, "A lot of the old-timers are radicals who've went insane. He definitely shows the characteristics of the someone who belongs in an institute."

Robin sighed, "Raven, there's a reason that most of the radicals are older; they remember a time before Slade and only they know if it was better or worse."

Cyborg's mouth opened in outrage, but Robin cut him off, "I'm not saying it was; I'll never know, maybe it was horrible, all I'm saying is that we shouldn't blindly accept everything Slade tells us. The winner always writes history; you'll never once hear the losers side except from those you'll never be inclined to believe."

A heavy silence settled over the room and before one of them could accuse Robin of treason, a line, which he was definitely crossing, he turned back towards the board and wrote two more things.

"He doesn't know the territory as well as we do and he underestimates us."

Robin took a step back and stared at the board calculatingly.

"Got anything Robin?" Beastboy asked.

Robin scratched his chin thoughtfully and drew a couple of lines, connecting a couple of things together, while his friends watched confusedly.

"Alright…" Robin sat down and leaning forward clandestinely and rested his chin on his hands, "Here's what we're going to do…"

To Be Continued…


	5. Choices

**Anonymous**

**Choices**

**Disclaimer: **Not yet and probably not ever.

**A/N:** Questions, Comments, or Criticisms? Please Review!

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**M**asks.

I once said that knowing a name could give you power over someone. I can and it does…almost as much as a mask. I have unruly black hair and bright blue eyes. They are displayed for everyone to see, no matter what.

When I was younger and was a true Slade affiliate, I used to be obsessed with his mask, in fact, once I stupidly tried to take it off…stupidly, since he broke my arm for trying. After that, I wondered from a distance. What was under that mask? Was he that ugly…did he have boils or perhaps a crippling disfigurement?

It's an instrument of fear.

It makes one scared. People are always scared of the unknown and Slade is the epitome of the unknown. It never scared me and that worries me…but what worries me more is how much I long for a mask of my own…

_April 27, 1998 _

_Death is an empty void is which you float through forever, lost in the fears and regrets of the past, never able to move on…at least that's how I see it. Death isn't happy; it's not something to be celebrated because you're moving on to something better. Death is what rips you away, kicking and screaming, from everything you know and love. Not killing…death. There is nothing good about Death, no matter how hard the beauticians try to dress it up._

_Death…you do realize that I capitalize the word? It's because it's such a scary word…hell people barely even use it. They use the word passing on, left this plane, or going somewhere better. _

_People are scared of it. _

_Death is given power that way, and power is what Slade wants. Slade plays with Death just like he plays with people. He dangles the two together like puppets on a string, laughing at their treacherous dance in glee. _

_Once, I met a woman who reeked of Death. She had a tattoo on her forehead that said outcast. When I asked her if she made the person who gave her that pay, she said, "only the ones in reach." She raised her eyes and looked into them and I saw death in her eyes…_

_I was scared…scared, not of her, but Death._

_I don't know if I'm still scared of death. I would have sacrificed my life for my friends that day with Batman and the probes, but now…I think I love life a little too much. When I go, I'll go kicking and screaming. After yesterday I know that for sure. I know it's really not very dignified and I hope I'll go with pride, but when it's my life in question, I think I'll do anything to save it… _

_Signing off,_

_Robin_

Robin knelt on a ledge, a shadowy figure far above the asphalt. The groundwork was set. The trap would be sprung, and the legacy of Batman would, finally, be put to rest.

They were in Gotham, a pro-Slade city…and Batman's old hometown. Robin figured that wrecking havoc in Batman's home would bring him running and lo and below…

"I'm in position." the voice, warped and muffled came through the comm. link as an electronic hiss, but Robin heard him loud and clear.

"Alright then." he whispered, "Go!"

Dark blue eyes peered out into the night. He smirked; let the games begin.

* * *

Raven scrambled back into her dark hole. She couldn't be seen and it sounded like Beastboy and Cyborg were already engaging Batman in their fight. They didn't have a huge part in the overall battle, but they were essential to one part of the plan. Other than that, all they needed to do was distract Batman until Raven was ready and gave Robin the signal

Drawing her energy to the forefront, she began chanting, "_Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Met-_"

Raven winced, cutting herself off as she heard a cry in the distance. Dark energy flared up from her form before she could control her emotions. It was Beastboy. Taking deep breaths, Raven made herself calm down again. She couldn't get worked up over this. She had her own job to do and it wasn't to worry about Beastboy.

Raven knew Robin was banking on the fact that Batman didn't kill his enemies to keep his team safe, but Raven wasn't sure. She wouldn't publicly disagree with her leader, but she knew the darker side of people and in the heat of the moment, they often forgot those noble intentions and pledges.

A resolution wouldn't keep Beastboy safe; Raven was counting on Robin to do that.

While they were setting up their trap, Robin said gruffly informed them that he wouldn't be interfering in any stages of the plan, so if they got stuck, they better get themselves out of it quick. But…Raven liked to think that she knew Robin a little better than that.

When Batman had infected herself, Beastboy, and Cyborg with the probes and made Robin work for him in his twisted plot to overthrow Slade, Raven had been scared for the first time ever. Their leader, Robin, was the only one Raven had ever truly trusted, and when he seemingly defected, Raven's trust and total adulation of Robin had been shattered…until they had found out what had really happened.

Raven didn't think she had ever been more justified in placing her faith in Robin than when he infected himself with those probes to try and safe their lives. That kind of risk-taking went past teammate helping out teammate; took a left at caring; and stopped at friend saving friend.

Robin liked to think he was tough and cold, but if anything were to go wrong, Robin would be there in an instant.

Raven was sure of it.

Raven took in another deep breath and started chanting again, "_Azarath Metrion Zinthos…_"

* * *

Beastboy yelped as he was thrown through a wall. God, this was hard. He winced as he staggered up, leaning heavily on a building.

"Screw this." he muttered.

He leapt forward, transforming midair into a hawk and flew high into the air. Direct attacks weren't working and they were running out of time…and energy. Beastboy watched as Cyborg powered up his sonic cannon and prepared to blast Batman.

Batman, though, was too quick. He flew forward and twisted Cyborg's arm into his own face. The cannon went off a split second later and both of them were blasted backwards. Cyborg landed next to a dumpster, motionless. Beastboy chose that moment to dive. If he had timed this right, then he would be able…he missed.

Batman twisted as he saw Beastboy diving at him and Beastboy crashed into the pavement.

"Ouch…" he moaned, "Dude, you, like, aren't human."

Batman's face remained stoic, but he clenched and unclenched his fists once before charging towards him. Beastboy's eyes widened and transformed into a gorilla, locking fists with Batman. Beastboy began pushing Batman back, trying to overpower him, but Batman dropped and rolled under him, kicking Beastboy into yet another wall.

Beastboy moaned as he sat up, dizzy and this time, he wasn't able to stop Batman's ferocious charge. The masked man caught the changeling by the throat and slammed him against a grimy building.

"Where's Robin?"

Beastboy choked, "Huh?"

"He's in charge of you kids." Batman growled, "You guys are planning something and he's in the middle of it, isn't he"-Batman shook him-"Where is he?"

Beastboy dazedly tried to keep up with the conversation. At least, Beastboy thought; Robin was right about one thing. Batman is so obsessed with Robin that taking him out of the equation totally messed Batman up. He was used to fighting people of Slade and Robin's caliber; not foot soldiers like them. He didn't know them well enough to launch an effective attack. And while Beastboy didn't appreciate being used like chess pieces; he had to admire Robin's genius.

"Where is he?" Batman demanded.

"I…I…can- can't…" Beastboy slumped down in Batman's grip.

"LET GO OF HIM!" Cyborg roared, firing off his sonic cannon.

Batman jumped backwards, barely missing the charged blast, while Beastboy slipped down to the ground, gasping for air.

"You okay man?" Cyborg asked, thrusting his hand out.

"Felt the heat on that one, you know. Remember, you're on my side." Beastboy said weakly, hauling himself up.

Both of them, side by side, turned and faced Batman.

"Look we need to finish this. I'll distract him and you-"

A flash-bang lit up the sky.

"The signal…" Beastboy breathed.

"Damn it. We don't have any time. Raven will be setting her trap any minute. Just get it any way you can, Beastboy." Cyborg barked.

"Right, lets do it." Beastboy answered.

Beastboy threw himself at Batman, while Cyborg attacked from the side. Transforming, Beastboy turned into a crab and unhooked Batman's belt from his waist. Batman growled and tried to grab it, but Beastboy quickly changed it into a monkey and slid the belt to Cyborg who swiftly grabbed it.

Beastboy grinned and jumped away from him, but Batman snagged the end of his tail and pulled him near.

"Dude!" Beastboy squawked, switching back to normal.

"Give me back my belt or-"

Suddenly dark energy converged on Batman, solidifying into hard, unbreakable material that closed in on all sides.

"RAVEN, NO!" Cyborg yelled, shooting off his sonic cannon at the forming cage.

It was too late…the solid cage surrounded Batman and a struggling Beastboy and encased them in a totally unbreakable, completely inescapable box.

Inside the formed box, Beastboy gulped nervously; he was stuck in a box of dark energy with Batman and…he didn't look very happy.

* * *

Robin flipped down to ground level. Cyborg and Raven were staring at the solid mass of dark energy was floating in the middle of the street.

"Nice job Raven." Robin nodded at her, and then turned to Cyborg, "You got the belt?"

Cyborg held it up, "Yeah…but Robin, we've got a bigger problem."

Robin scanned the area, eyes narrowed, "Where's Beastboy?"

"In there." Raven's monotone voice betrayed only a hint of worry, but Cyborg's was almost…shaking.

Robin raised an eyebrow, "With Batman?"

Cyborg hung his head, "We didn't have enough time…"

Robin ignored him for the moment, "Raven, is there any way to release Beastboy without letting Batman go?"

Raven shook her head, her body slightly shaking, "I can barely hold on to it until the extermination team we called arrives. The whole thing would break down if I tried to let Beastboy out of there."

Robin raked his hand through his hair, closing his eyes, "Alright…" Robin took a deep breath and then started speaking rapidly, "Cyborg, take my comm. and call the extermination team. Tell them to forget it; we won't need them…say Batman slipped through our grasp again or something. Raven, step back, and prepare to release the dark energy. Come on, we need to move. Beastboy's still in there."

Raven stared at him and then smiled sweetly, backing away three steps. Cyborg took the comm. out of Robin's hand and called the extermination team that was supposed to take care Batman after he was caught.

"Hold on a second- Robin," Cyborg held out the comm., "They need a recognized leader's confirmation. It's Riley; he's being an ass again."

Robin rolled his eyes and took the comm., "Riley, this is Robin. You need confirmation? Well, here I am, telling you not to come, and next time, know that when my team is speaking to you, they're speaking for me and have my authority. Got that?"

The comm. crackled, "Go to hell, Robin. We dragged ourselves thirty miles out of our precinct to help your sorry ass, because you needed the 'best in the business' and now you're telling me that you let the Bat slip through your fumbling fingers?"

Robin sighed, "Sorry, I owe you one, Riley, but I've got to go. We still need to catch Batman."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard. So I guess Master Slade's favorite is in a bit of-"

Robin cut the link, crushing it in one hand, "We'll need to get another one of those back at base, but if anyone asks, it dropped in a river. Raven, unleash the trap."

Raven tensed and then relaxed as she let go of the tenuous hold she had over the dark energy and almost immediately, a green blur shot out and knocked into Robin. Robin staggered backwards, reflexes being the only thing that kept him on his feet. He looked down at the unconscious bundle in his arms. It was Beastboy, and thankfully, he seemed to be breathing.

Batman swept to the ground, and locked eyes with Robin, his masked lifeless eyes hid his true emotions, while Robin's were out on display for the world to see. Robin deposited Beastboy into Cyborg's arms and with a growl, drew his bo stack and attacked.

Twirling his staff above his head, Robin swung it at Batman's head. Batman ducked and raised his own staff to block the blow. Robin followed with another uppercut, which Batman again blocked. He locked Robin's staff above his head and leaned in.

"Do you want to know the truth?" he whispered.

"I know the truth." Robin snarled

"You only think you do; don't tell me you haven't been having doubts about Slade, your life…everything. I changed you and you can't handle that. You can't handle the fact that someone other than Slade had an impact on your life."

Robin jumped backwards and took out three S-shaped shuriken, "My friends changed my life."

"Friends are liabilities. But…you'll find out the truth soon."

And with a swirl of his cape, he was gone.

**T**o **B**e **C**ontinued…


	6. Chats

**Anonymous**

**Chats **

**Disclaimer: **Not yet and probably not ever.

**A/N:** Thanks for reviewing the last chapter. It's great that some people are taking an interest in this story. By the way, if you like this story, then I'd encourage you to try reading Identity, my first story. It's a little rough, but I think it has a good storyline and I'd love to get some reviews detailing what I could do better. You'll fin it on my profile page; just click on my link above. Finally, questions, comments, or criticisms? Please Review!

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**E**mptiness…

It haunts my being, surrounding, and encompassing. Just like one gains wisdom and knowledge and strength, you're supposed to gain memories as you grow and get older, but…I seem to lose more and more of them as I mature.

I'm afraid that when its time for me to leave, I'll be nothing more than an empty corpse with naught to warm me in death's sleep.

_April 29, 1998_

_What is life?_

_I guess that's the topic up for discussion today in these private entries where only one's most secret thoughts flow onto the datapad. _

…_Life…_

_It's a rather abstract topic, which might be why I'm approaching it like a bullfighter dancing around an angry bull, springing lighting from place to place, never landing long enough to land a blow. _

_Life is a hollow existence in these times; a nothing life. It's all around you, wilting slowly from the inside out. If you were to go to the center of life, the true essence of life, you might have once found something beautiful…something indescribable. Something that was worth loving. That, though, was in the past. _

_It's dead now._

_Maybe it always has been and I never noticed. Maybe humans are so corrupted that they spoiled life from the very moment they walked the earth. Maybe life was never meant to be butterflies and walks in the rain; never meant to be something so heartbreakingly perfect that it made your breath catch in your throat and your eyes water. _

_As always, it's Slade's fault. _

_Of course it's Slade. I always come back to him, because somehow, it's always him. It's like a never-ending circle, starting at Slade. And…yet, a circle must be completed; if it starts with Slade, it'll end with Slade. So maybe…just maybe if Slade was the one to end life; he'll be the one to be the impossible…revive it. _

_Well, life is a fickle thing. It is given and taken by grace…Slade's grace._

_Signing off,_

_Robin_

Robin threw his staff against the wall and swore vehemently. Behind him, Cyborg, Raven, and Beastboy all cringed. They watched as the bo-stick collided with the wall resulting in a reverberating clang. Robin stalked over to a seat and slumped in it, slamming his hand against the metal table once for emphasis.

"Uh Robin…" Beastboy paused and wrung his hands together, unsure of whether his words were appropriate or not, "I'm…I'm really sorry. I should have gotten out of there sooner."

Robin sighed and looked up from beneath the tangle of his arms. "Not your fault." he replied shortly.

The foursome stood in silence, Robin brooding; Beastboy fidgeting; Raven staring moodily at the wall; and Cyborg absentmindedly tinkering with his mechanical arm. Finally, Robin stood and without a word left the room. The others stared after him and then taking his departure as a dismissal left the room, each heading off to their own private destinations.

Robin walked into the training room and slid to the floor, holding his head. He shouldn't have told Raven to release the dark energy. Beastboy could have taken care of himself if Robin had given him the chance, and anyway, he knew as well as anyone that Batman wouldn't have seriously hurt Beastboy. The problem was that…that he couldn't let someone hurt his friends. They were all he had left, and he clung to their warmth and support like a drowning man. Without them, he was alone and adrift in enemy waters.

Nothing was scarier than being alone.

"Dude?"

Robin looked up, straightening. "Yes Beastboy?"

"I…" Beastboy stuttered for a minute, "Just wanted to apologize again."

Robin frowned, "I told you it wasn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself; if it was anyone's fault, it'd be mine."

"Nah," Beastboy slid to floor next to Robin, "You always blame yourself, but it's hardly ever your fault. This time lets just blame it on circumstances beyond our control. We can't predict what someone like Batman will do with 100 accuracy."

"No, it's not that." Robin shook his head, "I've just been…off lately."

Beastboy nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, I get that. This Batman thing must be getting to you."

"You have no idea." Robin slammed his head against the wall once, "Do you ever feel like that? Like for your entire life you've been slamming against a wall, knowing it'll never get you anywhere, and then someone shows you that there's a door that you can just step through."

"And you're not sure if that door is the right way, because it's just too damn simple and easy and…I dunno, right?"

Robin opened his eyes and looked at Beastboy curiously.

"I, uh…" Beastboy laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "I don't really know what I'm saying. Don't pay any attention to me. Nope, none at all…it's just that…sometimes I think things, you know…bad things."

Robin smiled tiredly, "Sometimes," he said leaning in to whisper the words, "I do too."

"Guys?" Cyborg asked, "What's going on?"

Beastboy shot up from his seat and dashed for the door, only stopping to indistinctly mutter, "Nothing. We weren't doing anything."

"Beastboy," Robin called from his seat on the ground, "sometimes when you've been doing something wrong for so long, doing something right feels just as bad."

"Yeah…" Beastboy smiled weakly, touching Cyborg's shoulder as if to steady himself in reality, "Well, it doesn't really matter anyway does it?"

He left; whistling tunelessly, almost too blithely while Cyborg grimaced at the sound and closed the door behind him.

"Okay, man, what's wrong."

Robin cracked a grin, "Not a thing slips by you, does it Cy."

"I'm not so oblivious that I can't tell when my best friend is upset over something."

"I'm just having doubts." Robin muttered, burying his fingers in his hair.

"Look," Cyborg sighed heavily, "I know you've got your gripes with Master Slade. I know you…hate him, but don't involve Beastboy and Raven in this. I'll gladly follow to the grave and anywhere you'll want to drag me afterwards, but don't drag them down in your failed attempt."

"You don't think they can take life as rebels." Robin stated and then he paused and abruptly bristled, "And what makes you think I'll fail?"

"I think, no I know they can take it,"-Cyborg, Robin noticed, had a tendency not to argue useless points-"I just don't think you can." he finished.

"I can take pain." Robin said testily.

"I know." Cyborg replied, "I've seen you take everything thrown at you and more, but I don't think you'll be able to handle the guilt."

Robin sighed in acquiesce, "They're just so fragile…but don't let Raven hear me say that."

Cyborg laughed, an odd half croaking sound, "You know it won't matter, right Robin? You know that right?"

His voice sounded strangely pleading, but Robin ignored that. "I know; I don't care. If anything happens"-Cyborg made a half lunging motion and Robin hastened to change his words-"not that anything will, but…just in case, take care of them, will you?"

"But Robin, I just said, that I'd go with you. Coup or rebellion, I want to stick with you."

Robin shook his head, "You know you can't do that. Someone's got to take care of them."

"But-" Cyborg paused and then said evenly, "I don't want to fight you."

"Hopefully, it won't come to that." Robin said quietly, letting his words trail off into the silence of the training room.

"So" Cyborg said, his voice heavy in the tenseness of the room, "this is what this weight of the world stuff feels like."

"Welcome to the club." Robin said dryly.

The two sat in silence, before Cyborg got up, stretching.

"Well, I guess I'll go cheer up Beastboy. Maybe we'll play some videogames." Cyborg said halfheartedly.

"Good idea. Tel me I'm sorry for screwing him up. I didn't know stupidity was contagious." Robin muttered, tugged at his uniform.

Cyborg tried to smirk, but failed, "Once this is over, Robin, just you wait. Once this is over, everything will go back to normal."

Cyborg's voice was beseeching and scared, like a five-year-old searching for his mother. It really wasn't fair, Robin realized, to have dumped all this on him in one sitting. He probably thinks I'm going to plan a bloody rebellion that'll get me killed. Unfortunately, I'm not that smart. I'll probably do something completely stupid like trying to take on Slade by myself. Either way, Cyborg will be left to clean up the mess.

"Of course," Robin's voice was dull, lacking conviction, but Cyborg must have sensed something, because he brightened and nodded.

"I'll tell Raven that you're free." Cyborg cracked.

Robin snorted; it had become a tradition for each team member to visit Robin as he brooded after a loss to try to cheer him up, so he knew he could count of Raven appearing soon.

"She'll come when she comes."

"Whatever you say, Robin."

At the sound of the closing door, Robin got up and dragged himself to one of the many punching bags. He began punching it, falling into his familiar one-two rhythm. At least when he was training, he didn't have to think. He could just work out, as mindless as one of Slade's drones, but sometimes it was easier not to think. Easier not to be plagued by doubts and fears. It was easier not to feel.

"Robin?"

Robin jerked at the noise, disrupting his breathing pattern. Looking up, he saw Raven standing in the corner of the room staring at him.

"What's up Raven?" Robin forced his voice to at least sound cordial.

Raven lowered the hood of her cloak, reveling her eyes. "I just wanted to thank you for saving Beastboy." She said almost shyly.

Robin sighed and stopped the swinging punching bag. "Raven…why did you start working for Slade?" he asked.

"I…" Raven stopped and looked at with something resembling suspicion, "I began working for _Master _Slade because there was no other place for me to go. After I left Azarath, there was no other place for me to go."

Robin stared at her appraisingly. "Your father can't be as bad as Slade." He said calculatingly.

Dark energy flared around Raven's form. "YOU KNOW NOTHING! How dare you say that about Master Slade when he saved me from the wrath of my father! He helped me; he offered me salvation!" Raven hissed and turned to stalk out of the room.

"At what price though?" Robin whispered, throwing the words into the air as if tasting them.

Raven stopped in the doorway, resting her hand on the door, and turned back towards Robin. "My soul, but I'd give it up again if it meant getting away from my father."

"A lesser evil?" Robin murmured.

"Maybe not one at all." Raven turned and left the room, cape swirling around her.

"Maybe not one at all…" Robin remarked, staring up at the ceiling, "I thought she'd understand. I thought she'd feel doubts too, but it seems as if I'm the only one. Beastboy's just too scared; Cyborg thinks I'm crazy and Raven is too blinded by another evil to see the one right in front of her face. I don't even know if I'm right. Is it my duty to decide what's right and what isn't?"-Robin buried his head in his arms- "All I know is that I'm all alone again."

**T**o **B**e **C**ontinued…


	7. Kidnapped

**Anonymous**

**Kidnapped**

**Disclaimer: **Not yet and probably not ever.

**A/N:** Thanks for reviewing the last chapter. It's great that some people are taking an interest in this story. By the way, if you like this story, then I'd encourage you to try reading Identity, my first story. It's a little rough, but I think it has a good storyline and I'd love to get some reviews detailing what I could do better. You'll find it on my profile page; just click on my link above. Finally, questions, comments, or criticisms? Please Review!

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**A** finger flicked my eye open and shone a bright light into it. My pupils dilated and sluggishly focused on the blank expanse of white outlined with forbidding black. The blinding white scorched my eyes, burning the image into my retinas.

That was my first sight of Slade.

_April 31, 1998_

_Slade isn't like a normal person; being an insane, murdering, megalomaniac aside, he just isn't normal._

_His mind is wired differently, I think. Different from normal humans, different from most I've met in my short life. Perhaps, if you think of a brain as a railway system, with each train connected to another by different tracks Slade's mind will make a little more sense. In a mind like mine or yours one event would trigger the train to a certain track which would led to a somewhat logical conclusion. _

_For instance, when Batman threatened Beastboy, Raven, and Cyborg's lives, my mind's train led me to the logical conclusion that I'd have to do anything to protect them, even kill…as a second thought, maybe I'm just showing the strengthening ties between Slade and myself. _

_Anyway, veering away from my mind, Slade's would react completely differently to that situation. He might care, or he might not. He likes to use people until they have no value, but one can never analyze Slade. His characteristics and motions change with the passing wind. One can never be sure what he is about to do. _

_In fact, I've seen Batman act in much the same way, never predictable, always unconventional. _

_Maybe there is no difference between the heroes and the villains._

_Signing off,_

_Robin_

Robin slammed his fist against the counter, but there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say, all that there was left to face were the consequences…

**…**

Moving silently through the gloom, Robin crept behind a looming gargoyle, hiding in its shadow. This was his last chance. He couldn't make a mistake this time. He, Beastboy, Raven, and Cyborg had to capture Batman this time.

Crouching next to the statue, he made several fast hand signals to Beastboy who was soaring as an eagle in the sky. Beastboy cawed softly and answering blinks of light arrived from Raven and Cyborg. Good, now all they had to do was wait for- Suddenly, Robin felt a blinding pain on the side of his head. He slumped forward, only half-awake. Then on verges of unconsciousness, he saw a huge ominous presence step up to him and throw him over his shoulder.

Falling into darkness, all he could think was: Damn, not again…

**…**

Robin woke up in a small dark room, handcuffed to a lumpy bed. Shifting, he groaned- his head was killing him. Robin sat up slowly, hyperaware of his surroundings. There didn't seem to be anyone else in the room, but Robin double-checked for cameras or any other listening devices. Finding none, Robin checked for his belt; it was gone as well as his boots, gloves, and bo stick, but running a hand through his hair, Robin found a bobby pin. Sometimes Raven's simple tricks did come in handy…even if he'd never ever tell anyone that he wore bobby pins.

Picking the lock on, first his handcuffs, and then the door, Robin stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, marveling at how easy it all was. If were at Slade's then he would have already faced at least ten electronic devices, three guards, and ten drones. Lucky for him, he was somewhere else.

Padding silently down the corridor, Robin leaned around the corner, looking like nothing more than a sprinter ready to take off. Easing himself slowly into the hallway, he froze when he heard voices.

"Hey you! What are you doing?"

So much for his sneaking techniques.

"Wait. Stop!"

Frantically, Robin looked up and down his apparel. There was nothing on it to identify him, except…quickly, Robin ripped off the S emblem on his jumpsuit and stuffed it in his pocket. Now that…that had felt good.

"Who are you?"

Robin turned around, pasting a confused smile on his face. "Hi, I'm new around here. I was looking for…" Robin chanced a guess, "Batman, and I got lost."

"Oh," the teen's sharp blue eyes turned warm, "Sorry, it's just that, even in the Headquarters, some people still can't be trusted, but if you're friends with the Bat then you must be solid. I'm Superboy." He stuck out his hand.

"Good to meet you," Robin answered, shaking the boy's hand, "I'm-" suddenly Robin stopped, would Superboy know of his name? He was pretty famous…anxiously, Robin cast about for a name, any name, "Tim." he finally said, "My name's Tim."

"Nice to meet you, Tim." Superboy grinned, "I'll be nice to have some more kids around here. It's basically just Impulse and me. The girls are always out and the League is always busy."

"The League?" Robin yelped, "I thought they-" Robin cut himself off. Yes, he had thought the members of the League were all dead, but he had learned this from Slade. It was a huge possibility that Slade had lied to him and that the entire League was alive and well. But…but what would that make this place, some sort of Headquarters as the boy had said? And it's purpose…to stop Slade?

It couldn't be done; could it?

Suddenly Superboy stiffened. "Er…Bats, hey man, how are you doing?"

Whipping around, Robin locked gazes with Batman…and he didn't look happy. Batman glared at him before grabbing his arm in an iron tight grip and dragging him away from Superboy. Robin stumbled along, almost falling several times at Batman brisk pace. Twisting his arm, he tried to get his arm away from Batman's bruising grip, but to no avail.

"Let go of me!" Robin finally snapped, digging in his heels.

Batman stopped and then threw him into a wall. Stunned, Robin sank to the floor, holding his arm protectively. "So," he growled, "you thought that just because I didn't kill you the second I saw you, or the fact that I were nice to you meant that you could have free reign? What did you think you were going to do, sneak around our headquarters and then prance off to tell Slade everything? Because let me tell you something, once someone like you walks in, they don't leave."

Robin's eyes widened. "I wasn't trying to gather information." he said hotly, "I was just…just looking around."

"Oh really?" Batman sneered, "Well come on, I'll show you everything."

With hands quicker than lightening, Batman dragged Robin up again and practically threw him forward, keeping a tight hold on his the entire time. "Look, that's our training facility. We train new recruits there."

Robin looked, and then stopped and took a better one; actually he was gawking by now. "Wow, that's…that's amazing, you've got to have- Ah!"

Robin bit off a cry as he was pulled forward again. "Stop it!" he yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"

"What am I doing? WHAT am I doing?" Batman's dark figure loomed in front of him. "I'm trying to save your worthless life; I'm trying to divert you from a path that you definitely don't want to take, because every life you take weighs on you and slowly kills you from the inside out and all I'm trying to do is stop that from happening to the one kid in that hellhole who might have a chance at salvation."

Robin's face went white. "Who are you people?" he whispered softly.

Batman drew himself up tall. "We're those people in the dark who help whenever they can; we're nameless, bodiless…we're heroes"

**T**o **B**e **C**ontinued…


	8. Decisions

**Anonymous**

**Decisions**

**Disclaimer: **Not yet and probably not ever.

**A/N:** This is the final chapter and I'd appreciate any last comments.

**Summary:** In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

**R**obin tossed and turned in his makeshift bed. He had been placed in a huge room with several other boys his own age including Superboy. Robin could only guess that this was the place the heroes-in-training lived. Batman's words kept circling in his head. Sighing, Robin sat up and punched his pillow. He wanted his data pad to write in. He needed something to put all of his thoughts down in, but with his pad back at Slade's compound, there was no chance for that.

Next to him a bedspring creaked and a tousled haired Superboy poked his head out of his balloon of blankets and pillows to stare at Robin. "Dude, I'm not sure what your problem is, but you're keeping some of us up and we have things to do tomorrow."

"Sorry." Robin raked a hand through his hair, "I'm just thinking about a few things." He slid out of bed. "Maybe I'll take a walk to clear my head."

"Uhh…" Superboy watched Robin palm open the door and quickly jumped up to follow him. "Sorry," he said to Robin when the orange and black clad figure looked at him oddly, "Orders from the Bat. I'm not to let you out of my sight."

Robin inclined his head. "Well I can understand that."

"Yeah?" Superboy looked interested, "I can't. What does Batman have to fear from you? What does he think you can do at the Headquarters? I mean, you have heard that if you're not worthy once you reach Headquarters then you're likely not to leave, right?"

"I have heard that." Robin answered slowly, "But I'm not a normal guest. Batman has a right to worry."

"Then who are you?" Superboy pressed.

Robin chose a hallway and started walking down it briskly. "My real name's Robin."

Superboy's face wrinkled as he easily trotted alongside Robin. "Who…" Superboy's face darkened as he realized exactly who Robin was. His back stiffened and his eyes darted left and right with more carefulness- all subtle signs that Superboy was taking his body-guarding job a little more seriously.

"Stop worrying. If I wanted to kill you then I would have it while you were sleeping." Robin said dryly.

Superboy jerked away from him. "And now I know why you're considered dangerous."

Robin laughed. "Well-" Robin paused by two heavy oak doors, "Can you tell me what this is?"

Superboy looked at him analytically as if deciding whether to tell him or not. "It's…well I guess it can't hurt, it's the library. It has all sorts of books in there. Books on fighting, politics, history-"

"History?" Robin interrupted, "Slade's version of history or the true version?"

Superboy frowned. "What's Slade's version?"

Ignoring him for the moment, Robin turned the knob and entered the library.

* * *

"You've been here all night." Batman's gravely voice shook Robin out of his reading and made Superboy groggily wake from his stupor.

"Well," Robin said, rubbing his eyes, "It's all so interesting."

With a flick of his hand Batman sent Superboy scampering out of the room and sat down opposite Robin with what seemed to be an almost indulgent air. "You have a choice." he said softly.

_Well that was fast. _Robin thought about what Batman was telling him. "I've never had a choice." Robin answered bitterly. "I do what's asked of me, nothing more. Choice is given to the weak by the powerful to lull them into complacency."

"That's unsurprisingly cynical of you, Robin." Batman commented, "Now hear me out. You have two choices. You can join us in fight against Slade or we'll lock you up in the penitentiary and if Slade ever, ever finds out about this place then you'll be able to say how loyal you've been to Slade's cause, but there's no way you're getting out of here."

"You're asking me to give up my life's cause for people I've known for-"

"I'm not asking you to give up your life for me," Batman hissed, "I'm asking you to give up your life for them." Batman slammed his hand down on one of the books that Robin had been reading. "These people need us. They're helpless in the face of this endless tyranny. Being a hero is about helping these people, the masses. It's not about giving up your life, it's about finding a better one for everyone."

Robin looked at him, stricken. "Look," he swallowed around the lump in his throat, "It's not as simple as that. I have people- friends who are counting-"

"I'll let you write one letter to them telling them what you're doing. One, though, that's it. Robin," Batman's voice turned gentle, or at least, as gentle as it could be, "This is bigger than you, but at the same time it is you. I've…I've got to know-" Batman's voice cracked, "If- if it's possible to save one person then maybe it's possible to save all of them. Napoleon changed the world, so did Caesar and Alexander the Great. I want you to."

"I need to think about it." Robin muttered, his voice strangled.

"Then think about it." Batman said, pressing a blank piece of paper at him. "I'll see you after you write your note." His face once more solemn, Batman gracefully rose at left the library.

Robin sighed and looked at the books surrounding him. There were stories about life before Slade in them. They- the people of this somewhat foreign, somewhat familiar past –had been doing great things. They were on the path to discover cancer; they had sent ventures into space and deep underwater. They could have been great. It was like reading about a lost civilization- a place Robin could have grown up in.

Swallowing back his pain, Robin sat down to pen his note:

_Cyborg, Raven, Beastboy,_

_I've joined him, and the fight against Slade will continue, hopefully a little stronger now with my help. I can only hope that this will be enough for I'm no longer Robin… just one of the **anonymous**._

**T**he **E**nd

**End Notes:** This was a tough story to write and I've never really written anything so dark before; in fact I'm probably going to redo or at least fix all the chapters. Then, I might write the planned sequel.


End file.
